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like shit. I hated her then and I hate her
now.’
‘Hmm. But I should tell you that it’s a
lost cause.’
‘. . .’
‘Raghuvir isn’t foolish to think your
girl, Ritika, would solve the question
correctly while Aranya couldn’t. You
can’t fuck with Raghuvir. He’s smarter
than you.’
Dhruv jemmied the key into the lock
and it didn’t work.
‘He’s known to ask the students to
solve it on the board and he grills them.
It’s not going to be easy.’
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Dhruv dropped the key and kicked the
door. The screws that held the latch
came loose and it hung limply from the
door frame; the door was now wide
open. Dhruv walked in and started to
look for the bundle of assignments.
‘DUDE! What are you trying to do?’
asked Sanchit.
‘Accidents happen. Things get lost
sometimes. If we can’t get her marked in
the assignment, we can at least make the
assignment go away.’ Dhruv stuffed the
assignments of the entire class in a
polythene bag.
‘What now?’
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‘I have an idea,’ said Dhruv and
hurried out, Sanchit trailing him, jumped
the fences, ran across the field, ran up
the stairwell of his hostel and pointed at
the girls’ hostel roof where Aranya was
working on her laptop.
‘ARANYA. ARANYA,’ he shouted.
Aranya put the laptop down and
looked in their direction. She walked
closer to the ledge and squinted her
eyes.
Dhruv waved the bundle of the
assignments in the air. ‘FUCK YOUR
ASSIGNMENT! FUCK YOUR
ASSIGNMENT!’ shouted Dhruv.
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Dhruv kept the stack of assignments
on the edge of the roof. He poured Vodka
out of a bottle over it even as Sanchit
kept saying, ‘Enough, enough, don’t
waste it!’ and lit it up.
Aranya screamed in disbelief.
‘FUCK RAGHUVIR. GO FUCK
HIM!’ shouted Dhruv and started to walk
away from the fire.
‘That was a bit extreme even for me,’
said Sanchit. ‘Why did you do it?’
‘Because I hate her.’
‘Hate doesn’t push you that far, only
love does.’
‘I’m sure you haven’t heard of ISIS.’
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‘Oh. Political references. Respect!
But your reference is incorrect because
the ISIS guys love Islam.’
‘Fuck off.’
‘But tell me something, why didn’t
you do the assignment?’
‘My mother’s a bitch and my father’s
an alcoholic. Doing assignments is out of
my domain,’ Dhruv said and walked
back to his room.
I Love u Rachu
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27
‘But Sir, I saw it! I saw him burning the
assignments,’ complained Aranya,
choking on her tears.
‘That’s the twenty-third time you’re
repeating the same thing, Aranya. And
what if he did? Let it go,’ said Raghuvir,
leaning back in his chair.
He wore a spotless kurta today with
the same pair of jeans she saw him in on
Freshers’ Day, and leather chappals.
Dhruv was leaning against the door,
yawning for dramatic effect. Despite the
heat he wore a leather jacket, a white
shirt, a frayed pair of jeans and black
loafers. Careless hair carefully done.
Eight years separated Dhruv and
Raghuvir but they looked the same age.
Dhruv looked the vain, brash movie star,
and Raghuvir, the sincere, piercing,
intelligent technocrat with a dress sense
borrowed from the founder of Facebook.
In a parallel world or in a cheesy novel,
they would be brothers who fall in love
with the same woman.
Aranya should have been angry, and
maybe she was, somewhere deep inside,
but she was also a little dizzy, a little
disoriented sneaking glances at
Raghuvir’s tired, painfully cute,
beautiful face, which she was convinced
was one of her horrcruxes. She had spent
hours, wrong, days Googling about
Raghuvir, downloading his images on
her laptop, day-dreaming about being
intelligent and funny and mysterious in
his class and yes, also songs, they had
danced on songs together.
Fuck you, Aranya. You’re a grown,
intelligent woman. Stop staring at him
as if he’s God.
But he is like chocolate. With cream
and sprinkles.
Stop talking in Internet meme
language. You’re not retarded.
I’m sorry, but look at him.
Exactly. And look at you, you’re ugly
enough to be a different species.
Whatever.
I hate you.
I am you.
Raghuvir continued, his voice
suddenly grave, ‘And Dhruv, you need to
keep your attitude in check. The anger is
cute. But I’m not one of your girls. I’m
your professor and I have seen dozens of
you strut their fake machismo over the
years and all of them amount to nothing.
You’re nothing special. So the next time
you’re standing in front of me, you stand
like a f . . . student. Do I make myself
clear?’
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