77
lose yourself, your problem will be a problem for you. If
you do not lose yourself, then even though you have diffi-
culty, there is actually no problem whatsoever. You just sit
in the midst of the problem; when you are a part of the
problem, or when the problem is a part of you, there is no
problem, because you are the problem itself. The problem
is you yourself. If this is so, there is no problem.
When your life is always a part of your surroundings—in
other words, when you are called back to yourself, in the
present moment—then there is no problem. When you
start to wander about in some delusion which is something
apart from you yourself, then your surroundings are not real
anymore, and your mind is not real anymore. If you yourself
are deluded, then your surroundings are also a misty, foggy
delusion. Once you are in the midst of delusion, there is no
end to delusion. You will be involved in deluded ideas one
after another. Most people live in delusion, involved in their
problem, trying to solve their problem. But just to live is
actually to live in problems. And to solve the problem is to
be a part of it, to be one with it.
So which do you hit, the cart or the horse? Which do you
hit, yourself or your problems? If you start questioning
which you should hit, that means you have already started
to wander about. But when you actually hit the horse, the
cart will go. In truth, the cart and the horse are not different.
When you are you, there is no problem of whether you
should hit the cart or the horse. When you are you, zazen
becomes true zazen. So when you practice zazen, your prob-
lem will practice zazen, and everything else will practice
zazen too. Even though your spouse is in bed, he or she is
also practicing zazen—when jou practice zazen ! But when
you do not practice true zazen, then there is your spouse,
and there is yourself, each quite different, quite separate
from the other. So if you yourself have true practice, then
everything else is practicing our way at the same time.
That is why we should always address ourselves, checking
up on ourselves like a doctor tapping himself. This is very
82
RIGHT ATTITUDE
important. This kind of practice should be continued mo-
ment after moment, incessantly. We say, "When the night
is here, the dawn comes." It means there is no gap between
the dawn and the night. Before the summer is over, autumn
comes. In this way we should understand our life. We should
practice with this understanding, and solve our problems in
this way. Actually, just to work on the problem, if you do it
with single-minded effort, is enough. You should just polish
the tile; that is our practice. The puipose of practice is not to
make a tile a jewel. Just continue sitting; that is practice in
its true sense. It is not a matter of whether or not it is possible
to attain Buddhahood, whether or not it is possible to make
a tile a jewel. Just to work and live in this world with this
understanding is the most important point. That is our prac-
tice. That is true zazen. So we say, "When you eat, eat!"
You should eat what is there, you know. Sometimes you do
not eat it. Even though you are eating, your mind is some-
where else. You do not taste what you have in your mouth.
As long as you can eat when you are eating, you are all right.
Do not worry a bit. It means you are you yourself.
When you are you, you see things as they are, and you
become one with your surroundings. There is your true self.
There you have true practice; you have the practice of a frog.
He is a good example of our practice—when a frog becomes
a frog, Zen becomes Zen. When you imderstand a frog
through and through, you attain enlightenment; you are Bud-
dha. And you are good for others, too: husband or wife or
son or daughter. This is zazen!
C
ON S T A N CY
"People who know the state of
emptiness will always be able to dissolve their
problems by constancy."
The message for us today is "Cultivate your own spirit." It
means not to go seeking for something outside of yourself.
This is a very important point, and it is the only way to prac-
CONSTANCY
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78
tice Zen. Of course, studying scriptures or reciting the sutra
or sitting is Zen; each of these activities should be Zen. But
if your effort or practice does not have the right orientation,
it will not work at all. Not only will it not work, but it may
spoil your pure nature. Then the more you know^ about Zen,
the more you will become spoiled. Your mind will be filled
with rubbish; your mind will be stained.
It is quite usual for us to gather pieces of information from
various sources, thinking in this way to increase our knowl-
edge. Actually, following this way we end up not knowing
anything at all. Our understanding of Buddhism should not
be just gathering many pieces of information, seeking to gain
knowledge. Instead of gathering knowledge, you should clear
your mind. If your mind is clear, true knowledge is already
yours. When you listen to our teaching with a pure, clear
mind, you can accept it as if you were hearing something
which you already knew. This is called emptiness, or om-
nipotent self, or knowing everything. When you know every-
thing, you are like a dark sky. Sometimes a flashing will come
through the dark sky. After it passes, you forget all about it,
and there is nothing left but the dark sky. The sky is never
surprised when all of a sudden a thunderbolt breaks through.
And when the lightning does flash, a wonderful sight may be
seen. When we have emptiness we are always prepared for
watching the flashing.
In China, Rozan is famous for its misty scenery. I have not
been to China yet, but there must be beautiful mountains
there. And to see the white clouds or mist come and go
through the mountains must be a very wonderful sight. Al-
though it is wonderful, a Chinese poem says, "Rozan is fa-
mous for its misty, rainy days, and the great river Sekko for
its tide, coming and going. That is all." That is all, but it is
splendid. This is how we appreciate things.
So you should accept knowledge as if you were hearing
something you already knew. But this does not mean to re-
ceive various pieces of information merely as an echo of your
own opinions. It means that you should not be surprised at
84
RIGHT ATTITUDE
whatever you see or hear. If you receive things just as an echo
of yourself, you do not really see them, you do not fully ac-
cept them as they are. So when we say, "Rozan is famous for
its misty, rainy days," it does not mean to appreciate this
sight by recollecting some scenery we have seen before: "It
is not so wonderful. I have seen that sight before." Or 'Thave
painted much more beautiful paintings ! Rozan is nothing!"
This is not our way. If you are ready to accept things as they
are, you will receive them as old friends, even though you
appreciate them mth new feeling.
And we should not hoard knowledge; we should be free
from our knowledge. If you collect various pieces of knowl-
edge, as a collection it may be very good, but this is not our
way. We should not try to surprise people by our wonderful
treasures. We should not be interested in something special.
If you want to appreciate something fully, you should forget
yourself. You should accept it like lightning flashing in the
utter darkness of the sky.
Sometimes we think it is impossible for us to understand
something unfamiliar, but actually there is nothing that is im-
familiar to us. Some people may say, "It is almost impossible
to understand Buddhism because our cultural background is
so different. How can we understand Oriental thought?" Of
course Buddhisni cannot be separated from its cultural back-
ground; this is true. But if a Japanese Buddhist comes to the
United States, he is no longer a Japanese, i am living in your
cultural background. I am eating nearly the same food as you
eat, and I am communicating with you in your language. Even
though you do not understand me completely, I want to un-
derstand you. And I may understand you better than anyone
who can speak and understand English. This is true. Even if
I could not understand English at all, I think I could communi-
cate with people. There is always a possibility of understand-
ing as long as we exist in the utter darkness of the sky, as long
as we live in emptiness.
I have always said that you must be very patient if you want
to understand Buddhism, but I have been seeking for a better
CONSTANCY
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76
word than patience. The usual translation of the Japanese
word nin is "patience," but perhaps "constancy" is a better
word. You must force yourself to be patient, but in constancy
there is no particular effort involved—there is only the un-
changing ability to accept things as they are. For people who
have no idea of emptiness, this ability may appear to be pa-
tience, but patience can actually be non-acceptance. People
who know, even if only intuitively, the state of emptiness
always have open the possibility of accepting things as they
are. They can appreciate everything. In everything they do,
even though it may be very difficult, they will always be able
to dissolve their problems by constancy.
Nin is the way we cultivate our own spirit. Nin is our way
of continuous practice. We should always live in the dark
empty sky. The sky is always the sky. Even though clouds and
lightning come, the sky is not disturbed. Even if the flashing
of enlightenraent comes, our practice forgets all about it.
Then it is ready for another enlightenment. It is necessary for
us to have enlightenments one after another, if possible,
moment after moment. This is what is called enlightenment
before you attain it and after you attain it.
C
OM MU N I C A T I O N
"Without any inten-
tional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, to express
yourself as you are is the most important thing."
Communication is very important in Zen practice. Because
I cannot speak your language very well, I am always seeking
some way of communicating with you. I think that this kind
of effort will result in something very good. We say that if
you do not understand your master's words, you are not his
disciple. To understand your master's words, or your mas-
ter's language, is to understand your master himself. And
when you understand him, you find his language is not just
ordinary language, but language in its wider sense. Through
86
RIGHT ATTITUDE
your master's language, you understand more than what his
words actually say.
When we say something, our subjective intention or situa-
tion is always involved. So there is no perfect word; some
distortion is always present in a statement. But nevertheless,
through our master's statement we have to understand objec-
tive fact itself—the ultimate fact. By ultimate fact we do not
mean something eternal or something constant, we mean
things as they are in each moment. You may call it "being"
or "reality."
To understand reality as a direct experience is the reason
we practice zazen, and the reason we study Buddhism.
Through the study of Buddhism, you will understand your
human nature, your intellectual faculty, and the truth present
in your human activity. And you can take this human nature
of yours into consideration when you seek to understand
reality. But only by the actual practice of Zen can you experi-
ence reality directly and understand in their true sense the
various statements made by your teacher or by Buddha. In a
strict sense, it is not possible to speak about reality. Never-
theless, if you are a Zen student, you have to understand it
directly through your master's words.
Your master's direct statement may not be only in words;
his behavior is likewise his way of expressing himself. In Zen
we put emphasis on demeanor, or behavior. By behavior w^e
do not mean a particular way that you ought to behave, but
rather the natural expression of yourself. We emphasize
straightforwardness. You should be true to your feelings, and
to your mind, expressing yourself without any reservations.
This helps the listener to understand more easily.
When you listen to someone, you should give up all your
preconceived ideas and your subjective opinions; you should
just listen to him, just observe what his way is. We put very
little emphasis on right and wrong or good and bad. We just
see things as they are with him, and accept them. This is how
we communicate with each other. Usually when you listen
to some statement, you hear it as a kind of echo of yourself.
COMMUNICATION
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76
You are actually listening to your own opinion. If it agrees
with your opinion you may accept it, but if it does not, you
will reject it or you may not even really hear it. That is one
danger when you listen to someone. The other danger is to
be caught by the statement. If you do not understand your
master's statement in its true sense, you will easily be caught
by something which is involved in your subjective opinion,
or by some particular way the statement is expressed. You
will take what he says only as a statement, v\dthout under-
standing the spirit behind the words. This kind of danger is
always there.
It is difficult to have good communication between parents
and children because parents always have their own inten-
tions. Their intentions are nearly always good, but the way
they speak, or the way they express themselves, is often not
so free; it is usually too one-sided and not realistic. We each
have our own way of expressing ourselves, and it is difficult
to change that way according to the circumstances. If parents
can manage to express themselves in various ways according
to each situation, there will be no danger in the education
of their children. This, however, is rather difficult. Even a
Zen master has his own way. When Nishiari-zenji scolded his
disciples, he always said,'' Go away!'' One of his students took
him literally and left the temple! But the master did not mean
to expel the student. It was just his way of expressing him-
self. Instead of saying, "Be careful!" he said, "Go away!" If
your parents have this kind of habit, you will easily misunder-
stand them. This danger is always present in your everyday
life. So as a listener or a disciple, it is necessary to clear your
mind of these various distortions. A mind full of preconceived
ideas, subjective intentions, or habits is not open to things
as they are. That is why we practice zazen; to clear our mind
of what is related to something else.
To be quite natural to ourselves, and also to follow what
others say or do in the miost appropriate way, is quite dif-
ficult. If we try to adjust ourselves intentionally in some way,
it is impossible to be natural. If you try to adjust yourself in
38
RIGHT ATTITUDE
a certain way, you will lose yourself. So without any inten-
tional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, to express yourself
freely as you are is the most important thing to make yourself
happy, and to make others happy. You will acquire this kind
of ability by practicing zazen. Zen is not some fancy, special
art of living. Our teaching is just to live, always in reality,
in its exact sense. To make our effort, moment after mo-
ment, is our way. In an exact sense, the only thing we actually
can study in our life is that on which we are working in
each moment. We cannot even study Buddha's words. To
study Buddha's words in their exact sense means to study
them through some activity which you face moment after
moment. So we should be concentrated with our full mind
and body on what we do ; and we should be faithful, subjec-
tively and objectively, to ourselves, and especially to our
feelings. Even when you do not feel so well, it is better to
express how you feel without any particular attachment or
intention. So you may say, "Oh, I am sorry, I do not feel
well." That is enough. You should not say, "You made me
so !" That is too much. You may say, "Oh, I am sorry. I am
so angry with you." There is no need to say that you are
not angry when you are angry. You should just say, "I am
angry," That is enough.
True communication depends upon our being straight-
forward with one another. Zen masters are very straight-
forward. If you do not understand the reality directly through
your master's words, he may use his staff on you. "What is
it?!" he may say. Our way is very direct. But this is not
actually Zen, you know. It is not our traditional way, but
when we want to express it, we find it easier sometimes to
express it in this way. But the best way to communicate may
be just to sit without saying anything. Then you will have
the full meaning of Zen. If I use my staff on you until I lose
myself, or until you die, still it will not be enough. The best
way is just to sit.
COMMUNICATION
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78
N
EGATIVE AND POSITIVE
"Big
mind is something to express, not something to
figure out. Big mind is something you have, not some-
thing to seek for."
The more you understand our thinking, the more you find
it difficult to talk about it. The purpose of my talking is to
give you some idea of our way, but actually, it is not some-
thing to talk about, but something to practice. The best way
is just to practice without saying anything. When we talk
about our way, there is apt to be some misunderstanding,
because the true way always has at least tw^o sides, the nega-
tive and the positive. When we talk about the negative side,
the positive side is missing, and when we talk about the
positive side, the negative side is missing. We cannot speak
in a positive and a negative way at the same time. So we do
not know what to say. It is almost impossible to talk about
Buddhism. So not to say anything, just to practice it, is the
best way. Showing one finger or drawing a round circle rnay
be the way, or simply to bow.
If we understand this point, we will understand how to
talk about Buddhism, and we will have perfect communica-
tion. To talk about something will be one of our practices,
and to listen to the talk will also be practice. When we
practice zazen we just practice zazen, without any gaining
idea. When we talk about something we just talk about
something, just the positive or the negative side, without
trying to express some intellectual, one-sided idea. And we
listen without trying to figure out some intellectual under-
standing, without trying to understand from just a one-sided
view. This is how we talk about our teaching and how we
listen to a talk.
The Soto way always has double meaning, positive and
negative. And our way is both Hinayanistic and Mahayanistic.
I always say our practice is very Hinayanistic. Actually we
have Hinayana practice with Mahayana spirit—rigid formal
90
RIGHT ATTITUDE
practice with informal mind. Although our practice looks
very formal, our minds are not formal. Although we practice
zazen every morning in the same way, that is no reason to
call this formal practice. It is your discrimination which
makes it formal or informal. Inside the practice itself, there
is no formal or informal. If you have Mahayana mind, some-
thing which people call formal may be informal. So we say
that observing the precepts in a Hinayana way is violating
the precepts in a Mahayana w^ay. If you observe our precepts
in just a formal way, you lose your Mahayana spirit. Before
you understand this point, you always have a problem:
whether you should observe our way literally, or w^hether
you should not concern yourself about the formality which
we have. But if you understand our way completely, there
is no such problem, because whatever you do is practice. As
long as you have Mahayana mind, there is no Mahayana or
Hinayana practice. Even though it seems as if you are violat-
ing the precepts, you are actually observing them in their
true sense. The point is whether you have big mind or small
mind. In short, when you do everything without thinking
about whether it is good or bad, and when you do something
with your whole mind and body, then that is our way.
Dogen-zenji said, "When you say something to someone,
he may not accept it, but do not try to make him under-
stand it intellectually. Do not argue with him; just listen
to his objections until he himself finds something wrong
with them." This is very interesting. Try not to force your
idea on someone, but rather think about it with him. If you
feel you have won the discussion, that also is the wrong
attitude. Try not to win in the argument; just listen to it;
but it is also wrong to behave as if you had lost. Usually vv'hen
we say something, we are apt to try to sell our teaching or
force our idea. But between Zen students there is no special
purpose in speaking or in listening. Sometimes we listen,
so'metimes we talk; that is all. It is like a greeting: "Good
morning!" Through this kind of communication we can
develop our way.
NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE
91
75
Not to say anything may be very good, but there is no
reason why we should always be silent. Whatever you do,
even including not-doing, that is our practice. That is an
expression of big mind. So big mind is something to express,
but it is not something to figure out. Big mind is something
you have, not something to seek for. Big mind is something
to talk about, or to express by our activity, or something to
enjoy. If we do this, in our way of observing precepts there
is no Hinayana way or Mahayana way. Only because you seek
to gain something through rigid forraal practice does it be-
come a problem for you. But if we appreciate whatever
problem we have as an expression of big mind, it is not a
problem anymore. Sometimes our problem is that big mind
is very complicated; sometimes big mind is too simple to
figure out. That is also big mind. But because you try to
figure out what it is, because you want to simplify the com-
plicated big mind, it becomes a problcTU for you. So whether
you have a problem in your life or not depends upon your
own attitude, your own understanding. Because of the double
or paradoxical nature of truth, there should be no problem
of understanding if you have big Mahayana mind. This kind
of mind will be obtained by true zazen.
"Our
N
IRV A N A , TH E W A T ER FA LL
life and death are the same thing. When we
realize this fact, we have no fear of death anymore, nor
actual difficulty in our life."
If you go to Japan and visit Eiheiji monastery, just before you
enter you will see a small bridge called Hanshaku-kyo, which
means '*half-dipper bridge." Whenever Dogen-zenji dipped
water from the river, he used only half a dipperfiil, returning
the rest to the river again, without throwing it away. That
is why we call the bridge Hanshaku-kyo, "Half-Dipper
Bridge." At Eiheiji when we wash our face, we fill the basin
to just seventy percent of its capacity. And after we wash,
92 RIGHT ATTITUDE
we empty the water towards, rather than away from, our
body. This expresses respect for the water. This kind of
practice is not based on any idea of being economical. It
may be difficult to understand why Dogen returned half of
the water he dipped to the river. This kind of practice is
beyond our thinking. When we feel the beauty of the river,
when we are one with the water, we intuitively do it in
Dogen's way. It is our true nature to do so. But if your true
nature is covered by ideas of economy or efficiency, Dogen's
way makes no sense.
I went to Yosemite National Park, and I saw some huge
waterfalls. The highest one there is 1,340 feet high, and
from it the water comes down like a curtain thrown from
the top of the mountain. It does not seem to come down
swiftly, as you might expect; it seems to come down very
slowly because of the distance. And the water does not come
down as one stream, but is separated into many tiny streams.
From a distance it looks like a curtain. And I thought it must
be a very difficult experience for each drop of water to come
down from the top of such a high mountain. It takes time,
you know, a long time, for the water finally to reach the
bottom of the waterfall. And it seems to me that our human
life may be like this. We have many difficult experiences in
our life. But at the same time, I thought, the water was not
originally separated, but was one whole river. Only when
it is separated does it have some difficulty in falling. It is as
if the water does not have any feeling when it is one whole
river. Only when separated into many drops can it begin to
have or to express some feeling. When we see one whole
river we do not feel the living activity of the water, but
when we dip a part of the water into a dipper, we experience
some feeling of the water, and we also feel the value of the
person who uses the water. Feeling ourselves and the watei
in this way, we cannot use it in just a material way. It is a
living thing.
Before we were bom we had no feeling; we were one
with the universe. This is called "mind-only," or "essence
NIRVANA, THE WATERFALL 93
52
of mind," or "big mind," After we are separated by birth
from this oneness, as the water falling from the waterfall is
separated by the wind and rocks, then we have feeling. You
have difficulty because you have feeling. You attach to the
feeling you have without knowing just how this kind of feel-
ing is created. When you do not realize that you are one
with the river, or one with the universe, you have fear.
Whether it is separated into drops or not, water is water.
Our life and death are the same thing. When we realize this
fact we have no fear of death anymore, and we have no
actual difficulty in our life.
When the water returns to its original oneness with the
river, it no longer has any individual feeling to it; it resumes
its own nature, and finds composure. How very glad the
water must be to come back to the original river! If this is
so, what feeling will we have when we die? I think we are
like the water in the dipper. We will have composure then,
perfect composure. It may be too perfect for us, just now,
because we are so much attached to our own feeling, to our
individual existence. For us, just now, we have some fear
of death, but after we resume our true original nature, there
is Nirvana, That is why we say, "To attain Nirvana is to pass
away," "To pass away" is not a very adequate expression.
Perhaps "to pass on," or "to go on," or "to join" would be
better. Will you try to find some better expression for death ?
When you find it, you will have quite a new interpretation
of your life. It will be like my experience when I saw the
water in the big waterfall. Imagine! It was 1,340 feet high!
We say, "Everything comes out of emptiness." One whole
river or one whole mind is emptiness. When we reach this
understanding we find the true meaning of our life. When
we reach this understanding we can see the beauty of human
life. Before we realize this fact, everything that we see is
just delusion. Sometimes we overestimate the beauty; some-
times we underestimate or ignore the beauty because our
small mind is not in accord with reality.
To talk about it this way is quite easy, but to have the
94
RIGHT ATTITUDE
actual feeling is not so easy. But by your practice of zazen
you can cultivate this feeling. When you can sit with your
whole body and mind, and with the oneness of your mind
and body under the control of the universal mind, you can
easily attain this kind of right understanding. Your everyday
life will be renewed without being attached to an old er-
roneous interpretation of life. When you realize this fact,
you will discover how meaningless your old interpretation
was, and how much useless effort you had been making.
You will find the true meaning of life, and even though you
have difficulty falling upright from the top of the waterfall
to the bottom of the mountain, you will enjoy your life.
NIRVANA, THE WATERFALL 95
5
PART THREE
RIGHT UNDERSTANDING
"Our understanding of Buddhism is not just an intellec-
tual understanding. True understanding is actual practice
itself."
33
T
RADITIONAL ZEN SPIRIT ''If you
are trying to attain enlightenment, you are creating
and being driven by karma, and you are wasting your
time on your black cushion."
The most important things in our practice are our physical
posture and our way of breathing. We are not so concerned
about a deep understanding of Buddhism. As a philosophy,
Buddhism is a very deep, wide, and firm system of thought,
but Zen is not concerned about philosophical understanding.
We emphasize practice. We should understand why our
physical posture and breathing exercise are so important.
Instead of having a deep understanding of the teaching, we
need a strong confidence in our teaching, which says that
originally we have Buddha nature. Our practice is based on
this faith.
Before Bodhidharma went to China almost all the well-
known stock words of Zen were in use. For instance, there
was the term, "sudden enlightenment." "Sudden enlighten-
ment" is not an adequate translation, but tentatively I will
use the expression. Enlightenment comes all of a sudden to
us. This is true enlightenment. Before Bodhidharma, people
thought that after a long preparation, sudden enlightenment
would come. Thus Zen practice was a kind of training to
gain enlightenment. Actually, many people today are prac-
ticing zazen with this idea. But this is not the traditional
understanding of Zen. The understanding passed down from
Buddha to our time is that when you start zazen, there is
enlightenment even without any preparation. Whether you
practice zazen or not, you have Buddha nature. Because you
have it, there is enlightenment in your practice. The points
we emphasize are not the stage we attain, but the strong
TRADITIONAL ZEN SPIRIT 99
77
confidence we have in our original nature and the sincerity
of our practice. We should practice Zen with the same
sincerity as Buddha. If originally we have Buddha nature,
the reason we practice zazen is that we must behave like
Buddha. To transmit our way is to transmit our spirit from
Buddha. So we have to harmonize our spirit, our physical
posture, and our activity with the traditional way. You may
attain some particular stage, of course, but the spirit of your
practice should not be based on an egoistic idea.
According to the traditional Buddhist understanding, our
human nature is without ego. When we have no idea of ego,
we have Buddha's view of life. Our egoistic ideas are delu-
sion, covering our Buddha nature. We are always creating
and following them, and in repeating this process over and
over again, our life becomes completely occupied by ego-
centered ideas. This is called karmic life, or karma. The
Buddhist life should not be karmic life. The purpose of our
practice is to cut off the karmic spinning mind. If you are
trying to attain enlightenment, that is a part of karma, you
are creating and being driven by karma, and you are wasting
your time on your black cushion. According to Bodhi-
dharma's understanding, practice based on any gaining idea
is just a repetition of your karma. Forgetting this point,
many later Zen masters have emphasized some stage to be
attained by practice.
More important than any stage which you will attain is
your sincerity, your right effort. Right effort must be based
on a true understanding of our traditional practice. When
you understand this point you will understand how important
it is to keep your posture right. When you do not understand
this point, the posture and the way of breathing are just a
means to attain enlightenment. If this is your attitude, it
would be much better to take some drugs instead of sitting
in the cross-legged position! If our practice is only a means
to attain enlightenment, there is actually no way to attain
it! We lose the meaning of the way to the goal. But when we
believe in our way firmly, we have already attained enlighten-
l O O
RIGHT UNDERSTANDING
ment. When you believe in your wayj enlightenment is
there. But when you cannot believe in the meaning of the
practice which you are doing in this moment, you cannot
do anything. You are just wandering around the goal with
your monkey mind. You are always looking for something
without knowing what you are doing. If you want to see
something, you should open your eyes. When you do not
understand Bodhidharma's Zen, you are trying to look at
something with your eyes closed. We do not slight the idea
of attaining enlightenment, but the most important thing is
this moment, not some day in the future. We have to make
our effort in this moment. This is the most important thing
for our practice.
Before Bodhidharma, the study of Buddha's teaching re-
sulted in a deep and lofty philosophy of Buddhism, and people
tried to attain its high ideals. This is a mistake. Bodhidharma
discovered that it was a mistake to create some lofty or deep
idea and then try to attain it by the practice of zazen. If that
is our zazen, it is nothing different from our usual activity,
or monkey mind. It looks like a very good, a very lofty and
holy activity, but actually there is no difference between it
and our monkey mind. That is the point that Bodhidharma
emphasized.
Before Buddha attained enlightenment he made all pos-
sible eflForts for us, and at last he attained a thorough under-
standing of the various ways. You may think Buddha attained
some stage where he was free from karmic life, but it is not
so. Many stories were told by Buddha about his experiences
after he attained enlightenment. He was not at all different
from us. When his country was at war with a powerful
neighbor, he told his disciples of his own karma, of how he
suffered when he saw that his country was going to be con-
quered by the neighboring king. If he had been someone
who had attained an enlightenment in which there was no
karma, there would have been no reason for him to suffer
so. And even after he attained enlightenment he continued
the same effort we are making. But his view of life was not
TRADITIONAL ZEN SPIRIT I Q l
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